he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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