I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
