adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
