Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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