Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
