its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I AM VODKA MAN
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
