I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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