I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
so let's talk penis.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
