am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
