Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
