Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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