I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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