being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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