i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
