i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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