she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
