I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
