You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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