Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I need to calm my uterus...
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
