A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
