I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
