yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
love makes seman taste better
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
