marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
