i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
