She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
