I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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