just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
