my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
did you just send me my own nude
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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