We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
