Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
