Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I touched a dick in church today
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
