I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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