he thought i was a dude.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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