Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I need to sanitize my soul.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
