i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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