I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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