It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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