Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
