I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
