Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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