Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
whose parrot is this?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
