soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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