Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
