I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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