He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
