theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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