My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
babies were throwing up all over the place
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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