is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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