cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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