I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Randomize
