the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
