she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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