you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
