Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
